How to find the right neurodivergent virtual assistant for you

Hiring a virtual assistant (VA) can be a game-changer for your business, especially if you’re looking for someone who understands neurodivergence from a personal or practical standpoint. However, the process of finding the right VA can feel a bit overwhelming. Where do you look for one? How do you know if they’re the right fit?

This article will guide you through the steps to find the perfect neurodivergent virtual assistant to support your business.

Working with a neurodivergent virtual assistant versus a neurotypical virtual assistant

As a neurodivergent business owner, hiring a neurodivergent virtual assistant can offer benefits beyond just the usual productivity boost of having someone help with day-to-day tasks.

(This isn’t meant to knock neurotypical VAs. They are just as capable as getting the job done well as a neurodivergent virtual assistant. This section is meant to highlight why it is valid to ask for help from a fellow neurodivergent person.)

They understand based on lived experience

One of the most compelling reasons to hire a neurodivergent VA is their familiarity with the unique challenges that neurodivergent individuals face. They have firsthand experience navigating the same types of obstacles you encounter—whether it’s executive function struggles, time management difficulties, or navigating burnout. This shared understanding can create a sense of partnership and support that might not come as naturally with a neurotypical assistant.

A neurodivergent VA will likely be more attuned to how your brain works and can help in ways that are specifically tailored to you. Whether it’s creating strategies to help manage obligation overload or structuring tasks in a way that prevents overwhelm, they can offer solutions based on lived experience. They’re also less likely to judge or become frustrated if you communicate or work in a non-linear way. Instead, they’ll adapt to your natural rhythms and find ways to meet you where you are. You will also find that neurodivergent VAs are more flexible when it comes to scheduling meetings together, pivoting priorities, and other last-minute changes.

You don’t have to hide your feelings

They can also alleviate some of the feelings of shame or frustration you might have around your challenges. Many neurodivergent business owners feel a sense of guilt for not being able to "keep up" with traditional productivity norms (I’m no exception to this, too!), but working with someone who understands your struggles firsthand can foster a much more compassionate and accommodating work environment. Rather than feeling like you need to explain yourself or hide certain challenges, you’ll be able to work with someone who not only understands but may even offer strategies they’ve used themselves.

You find a better personality fit

Personality-wise, neurodivergent individuals often mesh better with others who share similar neurodivergent traits. There’s a shared language and a deeper sense of connection that can be hard to replicate with someone who doesn’t have the same lived experience. This can lead to better communication, a more harmonious working relationship, and ultimately, a smoother, more enjoyable work process.

The first step: Figure out what you want to delegate

Before you begin your search, it’s important to get clear on what tasks you want to delegate. Are you looking for help with administrative work, managing emails, scheduling, or something more specialized like social media management or podcast management?

Start with a brain dump

Start with a good ole brain dump. You can start writing in a Google Doc, in your phone notes, anywhere that will help you get the information out of your brain and onto a page. If writing things down causes blockages, you can utilize the speech-to-text function on your phone. Google Docs has this function, too, if you prefer working on your computer.

Think about all the tasks taking up too much of your time or energy. Think about the areas of your business where you’d like to free up mental space, allowing you to focus on the big picture. Think about tasks that feel easy to “let go” to someone else. (When your business is your “baby”, it can be hard to feel comfortable delegating. So, start with things that feel less high-stakes.)

If that feels too daunting, you can even start by just listing all the tasks you have to do in your business, regardless of whether they are something you can delegate. Once you have all that information out of your brain, you can parse through it later to decide what is delegate-able and what tasks are not.

Turn your brain dump into a list suitable for human consumption

Once you have completed the brain dump phase, use those notes to create a list. If you don’t have the energy to do this yourself, you can utilize an AI tool, like Goblin Tools, to do it for you.

From there, you can decide what you’d like to delegate. PSA: Pretty much everything is delegatable. It’s primarily up to you what you would like to delegate and what you feel comfortable delegating.

Choosing which tasks to start with

Which tasks are easiest to delegate to a VA? Tasks that have straightforward processes (like sending invoices or scheduling social media posts), tasks that have instructions you feel you can explain well (or similarly, tasks you can explain your needs well for, like drafting communications to clients), and tasks that do not require hyper-specialized knowledge are all easy places to start.

When you start working with a VA, my number-one suggestion is to always start with a limited scope of work. This will ensure you and your VA are not overwhelmed with learning and teaching all the things. Limited, in this case, doesn’t have to mean small. It just means don’t start with everything. Pick 3-6 tasks you want to delegate as a starting point and add new things as you both get comfortable with your new workflow for the initial set of tasks you’ve chosen.

Decide on a budget

Now that you know what you can delegate, you’ll need to decide on a budget for hiring support.

Your budget will play a part in:

• How many tasks you can delegate

• What kind of tasks you can delegate

• How experienced your VA is

• Whether you can certain needs meet (see the section below called “Make note of other needs”

• Your VA’s location

Virtual assistant rates can vary widely, depending on the VA’s experience, location, and the complexity of the tasks you want them to handle. They range anywhere from $20 per hour USD and can exceed $100 per hour USD in some cases. Some VAs also do not operate in an hourly capacity and instead require you to pay a set monthly fee based on the type of services you need.

Hourly rates vs package-based payment

Decide which of these payment types suits your needs best, because this may impact who you can work with. If you expect to have a wide variety of tasks you need help with and if you may need help with new, miscellaneous tasks occasionally, an hourly rate may work better for you due to its flexibility. If you know exactly what you need support with regularly, will not add new, different types of tasks often, and you want the predictability of a monthly fee, a package-based VA may suit your needs better.

You might not know what a reasonable rate is for the work you need— and that’s okay! At this stage, you can start by assessing your business finances and setting a monthly budget range that feels comfortable.

Think about how much time you’d like to save each week or month. What is that time worth to you? Use that as a guide to decide how much you’re willing to invest in hiring a VA. Remember, hiring an assistant isn’t just a cost—it’s an investment in growing your business and protecting your well-being.

Make note of other needs

When hiring a neurodivergent virtual assistant, there are additional factors to consider beyond tasks and rates. Think about the logistics that will make this working relationship functional and smooth.

• Do you need someone with weekend availability, or will standard business hours suffice?

• Are regular video meetings important to you, or would you prefer to communicate via email or chat?

• Does the assistant need to be in a specific country or time zone?

• Do you need a full-time VA, or are you comfortable with someone who is balancing this role with other side projects?

Clarifying these needs ahead of time will help narrow down your options and find someone whose working style aligns with yours.

Where to find options

Once you’ve defined your needs and your budget, it’s time to start looking for potential candidates. There are a few different ways to find neurodivergent VAs:

Social Media

Social media: Platforms like LinkedIn, Twitter, or even specialized Facebook groups for neurodivergent entrepreneurs can be great places to connect with VAs who understand your specific needs. There are a few Facebook groups that I am in, and I have seen other neurodivergent VAs in them as well. You can try making a post in these groups:

• Service Providers for Neurodivergent Entrepreneurs - https://www.facebook.com/groups/vasforneurodivergententrepreneurs/

• ADHD & Autism Business Owner Support Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/soloschool/

When searching via LinkedIn, you can use search terms like “neurodivergent business assistant”, “ADHD virtual assistant”, “AuDHD business support”, or other keyword-heavy search terms to find options. Keep in mind, LinkedIn’s search feature bases its results on the people you have connected to. If you have only a few connections on LinkedIn, or if you do not have any connections in the neurodivergent-business space, you may want to connect with some folks in this space so your search results will actually be useful.

Your network

Ask around within your business or professional circles. Recommendations from others who have hired VAs can give you confidence and insight into candidates and ease your nerves when hiring someone for the first time. Here’s a sample message you can send:

Hey! I’m on the hunt for a virtual assistant to help me (tasks you want to delegate here). I’m particularly interested in finding someone who is also neurodivergent (you can change this out for your specific neurodivergent presentation if you prefer someone who also has ADHD, autism, etc.). Do you have any recommendations? It could be someone you have worked with personally, someone who was suggested to you, or a person you just happened to come across online. Let me know if you have any recs, and thank you in advance!

Google Search

Sometimes, a simple search can yield surprising results. Search terms like "neurodivergent virtual assistant" or “VA for neurodivergent entrepreneurs” can help you find services or individuals specializing in this space. Similar to LinkedIn, you’ll want to consider which keywords are most important to you, so you can yield the best results.

In my experience, Google Search doesn’t always put VAs on the first page of its search. Search through the first 1-7 pages, and you will continue to find more options!

A virtual assistant matching service

Yes, these exist! Some people offer the service of finding a virtual assistant for you. They are usually business coaches or online business managers. Aside from matching you with a virtual assistant, these services also help you with the process of prepping for hiring, like deciding which tasks to delegate, and they help you onboard and begin working with your VA.

One person I know who offers this service is Ashley Torres, a neurodivergent OBM.

What to include in your inquiry to a VA

When you reach out to a potential VA, make sure to clearly communicate your needs. This will ensure you do not lose time talking to someone who is not the right fit.

Here’s what to include in your inquiry:

• A brief introduction to your business and what you do

• The specific tasks you want to delegate and, if you have the information, an estimated time commitment

• Any other logistical details (e.g., preferred communication methods, required availability, etc.)

• Your preferred start date

• The budget you have in mind

Here’s a mad-libs-style inquiry template you can use to craft your inquiry.

My name is ___ and I run a business called ____. My primary service is ___. I’m looking for a VA to help me ___, ___, and ___. I’m hoping to find a VA to start within the next ____ (weeks/months/if you don’t have a time frame you can say that). My budget is between ___ and ___ per month. Does this sound like something you could help with?"

Sharing this information up front will save you time in evaluating your fit to work together.

Questions to ask your VA during your introduction/consultation

Before you commit, it’s important to have some sort of consultation or introduction conversation.

While this typically happens as a video call, you can also request to talk over email if that helps you feel more comfortable. Video calls can cause lots of unnecessary stress for neurodivergent folks. Neurodivergent VAs understand this and will be happy to accommodate.

During your consultation conversation, it is a great time to ask questions that will help you better understand their working process and their experience handling tasks similar to the ones you want to delegate. Here are some questions you might consider:

• How do you keep your clients updated on task progress?

• How do you keep track of your time? (This applies primarily to VAs with an hourly rate.)

• How does invoicing work?

• Do hours expire if I do not use them in time?

• What task management tools do you use?

• How do you prefer to communicate (email, chat, video calls)?

• Do you have experience with XYZ task?

• What tasks do you feel most confident completing?

• Do you offer a trial period, so we can make sure we are a good fit to work together?

If you interview one person, and you’re really excited about them, you don’t have to keep looking! If you feel like it’s the right choice, you can go with the first person you speak with. Make this process accessible to yourself.

If you are the type of person who wants to explore multiple choices, interview 2-5 VAs and make notes after your meeting about what you liked about them. Try not to interview too many VAs. Otherwise, you could unintentionally cause yourself choice paralysis, which will lead you to not making a choice or being unsatisfied no matter who you choose. Sticking with 2-5 options will make your final decision easier and you will be happier with your choice.

Choosing the right VA for you

Once you’ve spoken to a few candidates, take some time to evaluate who felt like the best fit for your business. Trust your intuition here—if you connected well with someone, felt comfortable with their communication style, and were impressed by their experience, they might be the right VA for you.

Don’t be afraid to ask follow-up questions or request more information if you’re unsure.

If you interviewed multiple VAs, do the kind gesture of following up with the ones you did not choose. Let them know you enjoyed your conversation and decided to go with a different VA.

Getting started with your new VA

It’s time to onboard your VA!

Most VAs who are in their business full-time have onboarded clients many times already. You can always ask them for advice on how to start working together, or you can ask them what information they need from you to get started. If you like, you can schedule a “kick-off” call to discuss this or send them an email about it.

Either way, you can rest assured you are in good hands and that this is the start of a new chapter for you in your business. Soon you will have more capacity than before. So, you better start thinking about what you’ll do with all this newfound freedom!